Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Been struggling a lot lately

Funny how October is, among other things, Depression Awareness month. Funny how my blog is basically green. Funny how I'm struggling through a bout of depression...yeah, funny that.

Today, I had a good cry, did some writing (it's where my songs come from...oh yeah, I'm taking a songwriting class)  and shared what I'd written with my husband. He pointed me to this video which basically shares what I and so many people I know are struggling to understand.

So my friends, I wanted to share it with you too. When you have 20 mins to care for yourselves, take the time to watch this video from a TedX talk in Houston, Texas.  This is exactly what I am struggling with and knowing I am not alone gives me courage to work toward living authentically. If watching can help just one of you, if you share it and help just one person...then the world will slowly become a better place.

Thank you for reading, thank you for following even though I've not posted in forever. Thank you for commenting and thank you for being there even when I'm withdrawn, shaking and feeling like I'm not enough.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Peeking in

Hi Everyone...

I've got stuff, really I do...just dealing with some "life stuff" right now and blogging time is not at a premium right now.  I'm reading your blogs (not always commenting) and that's keeping me connected with all you wonderful women. I'm cleaning out my closets, so to speak. Doing some great reading and just getting a new head space in place.

Life's been challenging, but I'm getting back to looking at the bright side. I'll post up some stuff this weekend!

Hugs all around,

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Busy weeks past, busy weeks ahead

I swear I have some really great comparison swatches to post! Really I do! I took notes and EVERYTHING!!!

I've just been busy with work projects and now physical therapy (not for the knee though, that's just FINE.) and getting ready to go to Seattle to visit my son. Haven't seen him since Feb 17th or so, and therefore, I am VERY excited!  I'm going to see one of my BFF's and her daughter (known this woman for 35 years. OMG 35 YEARS!!! Will reconnect with some cousins up that way and thereby connect my son with some extended family peeps who he can keep in touch with and can lend a hand when mom, (that's me) is too far away to help.

I've been doing a bunch of swap prep and the shipments, I think there are 5 or 6 of them, are just about ready to go so they'll hopefully go out today or tomorrow.

So I will be amazed if I get anything posted before my trip (I leave Saturday and return June 5th) go ahead robbers, show up at my door, you'll find a few surprises waiting for you there. >:-D>

It's going to be rain the whole time, unfortunately, so I'm trying to decide on a mani to start with, then maybe shop the Ulta there, I need NYX Paradise! :)

Hugs all Around!
~The Lizard

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Me and my big mouth...er...fingers?

I did it again. I posted a comment on someone's blog that I should have re-read, reworded to be more all encompassing and less 'finger pointing' as I didn't mean to finger point or cause bad feelings.
I caused bad feelings. I made a mistake. I got blasted for it, rightly or not rightly so...I sincerely apologize. I am human, I make mistakes.

Got the big reaction and blasted for being an asshat.

Somedays, even when I think I can offer another point of view for others reading a blog post...I think I'll move on without posting. This sucked and the blast back was painful. Hope everyone is happy now. This asshat is going to bed.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Thinking about what Beauty means to me...and a Red Comparison (long, but good post!)

While recovering from knee surgery, I took the time to read a ton of books. Some fiction series follow ups that I love and a few books of the "self-help" genre. A friend told me about a book she was reading so I checked out the prologue on Amazon.com and knew I needed to read it. Why? I've been dieting and beating myself up for most of my life and so I could relate to this book. 

I'm sharing this now because I was moved (as many of you were) by Andrea's Post over at Black nail polish and lip gloss and have been wanting to share this book with the world since I got so much out of it. I know that not everyone will, but when I find a gem like this, I usually end up telling everyone I know to CHECK IT OUT CUZ IT'S THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!!! Yeah, that's me...and that's ok. :)

It took me the whole week to read the book not because it is a big book, but because I kept having to set it down to think, absorb, cry, thrash, get angry and, finally, accept. I realized that I had, once again, forgotten who I am and gone back to believing what other people's stories told me I am. I also came to realize that I was trying to fill my non-stuff compiling life up with stuff again to counter the difficult financial times the husband and I have been facing. I mean, if I have all this nail polish, then we aren't struggling so bad, right??? RIGHT???

What I learned mostly was to be present again. Be passionate about life and most of all, remember that I am beautiful just as I am right now, and now and now. 

First thing I did was to cancel my Weight Watchers membership. Yep, I've had great success (you'll find this very post over there if you click but there are a couple years of posts and a huge transformation over there if you're interested in learning more about who I am) and some backsliding with that plan but, I learned so much there and because of the time I spent learning their "Tools for Success" I was ready to hear the message in this book.  

I'm done dieting. I'm done telling myself I don't measure up to someone else's idea of what is beautiful. I'm also done eating absently and not enjoying every minute, including the minutes I spend feeding this glorious body I've been blessed with to walk on this beautiful planet I get to call "home."  

And when I hear that little nagging voice, the one that tells me I am not enough, I don't have enough, I'll never BE enough...I will, as soon as I realize I am buying it's bs, tell it to shut the hell up!  It has been a little over a week. ONE WEEK and without counting calories, points, or carbs, without weighing and measuring, without denying myself what my body wants, I'm getting healthier. I've lost 9 pounds. NINE. Just by being present when I eat. I share that because, as the author, Geneen Roth says, "It's not about the weight and yet, it's not NOT about the weight" For some of us, healthier means losing weight, for others, it means gaining or maintaining while nourishing our bodies. For me, it means some weight needs to leave my body...and I will never, EVER diet again. I'm free. I'm back to being me and that is a very cool thing.

What is this book? If you clicked the Amazon link above, you already know, but if you didn't, the book is 
Women, Food and God: An unexpected path to almost everything.  

So the changes to my attitude lead me to look at my stash and decide it was time to do some culling. I don't need all these bottles taking up space in my tiny home and already increased the size of my stash to at least 20 times my initial plan. Part of that is seeing all these gorgeous colors all you ladies are posting. I love so many of the colors, but I don't NEED them. Hence my asking how you'd feel about some used polish giveaways. I don't want to replace them with swaps...I want to reduce my stash and have the colors I love and only those colors. I want to travel light while I'm here. I forgot that about me... That's not to say I don't envy you all your helmers...it's just not something I want as much as I want to travel light. 

I began the culling with comparisons, which I shall share with you, to help me decide which polishes I want to keep and those that, while still quite nice, are so similar to what I'm keeping, I don't need them in my stash.  I know already, from reading other blogs, that all of my comparisons may show my lack of understanding of dupes and all that stuff, but for me, really, how many red nail polishes do I need? Certainly not 40...more like 4.

I give you the contenders and I think these are Jellies, but there may be a creme in here.
Left to right: Cheeky Monkey Pop My Cherry, Zoya Harley, Miss Marion Carnival, Essie Lollipop, tictac unnamed red

On the nails in the Sun: (all are 3 coats, no base, no top)
Beginning with the Thumb they are in the same order: Thumb = Cheeky Monkey, Forefinger = Zoya, Middle = Miss Marion, Ring = Essie and Pinky = tictac.

In the Shade:

Cheeky Monkey Pop My Cherry is a wonderful true red jelly with a formula I had to learn to use and am now quite fond of. I don't have any complaints about the color, the formula or the brush. The brush is average but the formula would work if all you had to paint your entire nail was a toothbrush. :) Lizard rates this one: Sizzling!

Zoya Harley wasn't a true red, a bit more orange and I thought the formula was a bit on the watery side. Lizard rates this one: Balmy, but I have enough reds so it's downgraded to Chilly because of the formula and it just can't compete with CMPMC.

Miss Marion Carnival is one I really liked when I did my Miss Marion review...I still really like it. The formula is great, the brush is really nice and it builds the color really well. This one was the most orange red of the bunch and that, plus my love for this company makes it rather special to me. It's an orange red I can wear and look at that shine. The Lizard rates this one: Toasty.  It stays

Essie Lollipop: This is a bright red jelly with a delightful formula but the brush is scrawny. In fact, I didn't much like the brush in this one at all. It's very similar, maybe even a complete dupe for Cheeky Monkey Pop My Cherry, but I had to choose the Monkey over this because the brush was challenging and I simply love Cheeky Monkey. Still, the Lizard rates this one: Sizzling! (it's Essie after all.)

tictac unnamed red: This one was a bit of a surprise. I won this in a giveaway and I wasn't expecting very much since it's a brand I'd never heard of nor seen until just before the giveaway.  This was the wateriest polish in the bunch. Cuticle flooding and all. That might be because I am getting used to Cheeky Monkey and Essie but still, this was one watery polish!  It dried super shiny though not as shiny as the others. I think with practice and some topcoat, I might be able to make this one shine. Still, it's not a favorite so it goes in the cull pile. Final Lizard rating: Tepid

Bottle picture with Flash:


In the end, I am keeping only Cheeky Monkey Pop My Cherry and Miss Marion Carnival with a wandering eye on Essie Lollipop as it sits in the cull pile along with Zoya Harley and tictac unnamed red.

Some of these were review samples, some were giveaway winnings...I honestly didn't purchase a single one. Still, it is harder to let them go than I thought it would be.  How will I do it?  A few different ways actually. I'll be having another nail polishing party with my co-workers and friends and I'll take an assortment there for them to choose a few to take home, some will be in various giveaways and if I can make enough room, I may swap and do the Zoya exchange for truly unique to my collection colors. 

I hope you enjoyed my comparison and review of the red jellies I have! Next up: The Darker Reds
Til then, be present, be loving, be true to who you are!
~The Lizard

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Man, healing takes a while and my back is stupid

Sorry I have no pictures or interesting posts at the moment. I'm sad not to deliver, especially when I have so much to share! But alas, my knee is really sore today (no I didn't do too much, just regular stuff) and my back is threatening to go OUT so I am going to lay myself down and read and go to sleep.
I'll see the chirocracker tomorrow, he'll fix me up and I'll be back to post tomorrow.
The saddest thing of ALL? I haven't done anything but clear polish for the past 2 days!!!!
Will post tomorrow, promise!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I can't stop giggling when I watch this.

I know it's silly, but it KILLS me. Watch and see if you don't click replay a couple times.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Will the Real China Glaze Flying High Please Stand UP?

Before I show pictures, let me just put out a blatant request for encouragement for life in general. Life has been exceptionally challenging for me this year (yeah, I know it could be much harder) and I'm losing steam fast. I didn't think I'd find myself here at my age, still struggling to make ends meet.

When I was a kid, I thought I would be a rock star, and though that is still a dream, it's not a realistic one. So I find myself at a crossroads trying to find my way and head in the direction of what I want to be when I grow up. I can be anything now! The days of making sure I can feed my son are behind me, he's on his own now - even if he does need an occasional assist from me. Truth be told, I haven't had to do much for him financially for a few years now and yet I still struggle.
Flying High (full evening sun)
I'm tired.
I need some kicks in the butt and some encouragement. I'm battling depression and losing interest in everything that gives me joy, including - dare I say it? - Nail Polish! *background shriek goes here* 
I think I'm fighting depression along with all the other health issues. I just want to be comfortable. I think all the hurt feelings and lashing out that I'm seeing isn't helping, and I'm not singling out any one group of people either, I'm seeing it everywhere. I'm just so tired. 
I ask you, wonderful readers and fellow bloggers, drop me a comment to put a smile on my face, a song in my heart or just a little bit of sunshine-y hope back into my thoughts. Because as lovely as this color is, it didn't help much. :(

One little piece of info to add here regarding "Flying High."  The photos above represent what I've seen all over the web to show this color. Even my camera picked it up this way. Flying High is not this color! It's more teal, it's like For Audrey's darker sister. It's For Audrey more saturated. So I futzed with the color a bit and here are pictures that capture the polish color better, just ignore what color correcting did to my skin.
Almost right...(shade)
Even Better! (shade)

And still, I can't quite capture it...
Have a good evening. Thanks for reading! I value your comments, your friendships and your blogs. 
G'nite. :)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Speaking my piece/peace

I changed my mind. I'm not going to continue to add energy to what happened. It's over, it's done, let's move on, shall we? (hat tip to Scandalous)

Nothing to see here...move along, move along...

If you found this post via blogger, ignore/delete it. I now return you to my regularly scheduled blogging.

Friday, February 19, 2010

So Much FUN coming up and Knee update

The sun is coming back out and I've ordered some lovely new polish which I hope to have by next week sometime. Surprises await!

OH I can't WAIT!!! One of them, who's name shall not be mentioned until I have it on my hot little hands, is a throwback to my 20's...but I promise you ladies will love it as much as I do! It's just plain fun and I'm so excited I could find it!

I've been a little busy being the "licensed driver" cruising the streets with my son who is now a licensed driver himself and he'll be moving to Washington this Sunday night...so I'll not be around this weekend as I want to spend time with him before he goes. I'll share a picture of him here so you all can see what a handsome spawn I created. ;)


Christmas Day 2009, yep Christmas Day. I love Santa Barbara!
He despised having his picture taken...and I just don't understand why...
(I also don't understand why the second picture I post is ALWAYS unclickable)

See how handsome he is? Why wouldn't he want his picture taken???
(this one is from July of 2008)

Oh, they are soooo photogenic!
(This is November 2009, Thanksgiving day with his Twin Cousins.)
*Ahem* Proud Mom moment over now.

For those of you just chomping at the bit to find out how my leg is faring, I am doing much better! Seems the cortison shot was just the ticket and the knife has been evaded, for now. That Doctor was my bestest friend until he got more needles out and injected BOTH knees with Hyalgan (fake knee fluid) and I hobbled out of there to return again every week for the next two to do it again! I don't like him much right now, but in about 4 weeks, I will LOVE HIM. Unless my knee starts to "catch" and I am faced with the knife again.
I'll be riding my bike again in no time, starting right after this little rain spell is over! Of course I have to "ease into it" and I will do just that. I feel like such a little kid when I'm on those two wheels.
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